this little guy
he’s been through a lot
this little guy,
this tired little heart

laughters and hue
nights tired and used
this little guy
he’s afraid of you

pink skin is exposed
right bedding is hot
he’s red and he’s blue
in the fight to be fought

but perhaps it is true
now that the memories start
oh, but this little guy
he’s been through a lot

no, perhaps it is true
perhaps he can start
this little guy
can begin to depart

yes, this little guy
he’s been all for not
but i think he’s for you
and that mean a lot

that long silver streak of a train
pings as the heat expands and contracts
the idle engine
amtrak. with people front to back.
waiting.
for only god knows what.
that long silver pinging engine idles
and i walk underneath it on this cold
april oklahoma night.
with no idea where i’m going.

like a super nova
fear and regrets
and a ribcage miracle,
a songswell
combustion lets
constellations
circle
light and beauty
all at once pour
and i feel that feeling
joy. eyes water. i soar.

down on my knees
my. god.

down. on. my. knees. my.

god.

Hey folks. Still working. Still writing. Still excited about Thailand. If your here by accident and were looking for The SOLD! Project Trip update page, go here!

I’ll keep this page up for a spell. much love. God save us.

here is where
i don’t want
to be a sea
between you and me
and a song and
a wall and
above it all
here is where
i am afraid
to stay

so please please
pull me to you
and help me see
that here
is where
you will be with
a hand and
a song and
a change
and even a sea
in the most
compelling way
because here now
is where
the sea remains
and the anchor’s away
in the place
where you and i
can stay

a hand pulls
the red curtain back
again, and i notice
the discolored fabric
around the area that
every hand seems
to touch.
my stomach butterflies.
this still isn’t easy.

this one will kiss my neck
he will kiss it slow
at first anyways
because he is pensive.
i can tell by his digital watch.
some ask my name
some have daughters my age
he will think i love him.
he will touch me kindly
like a daughter.  strange.
he will make love to me softly
at first anyways
all the foreigners do.
they pay to believe they are loved.
i pay because they are not.

all these men
all these hands
all these fingernails
all these moments

does god even know
i am here?

…are now here:  www.michaelmanes.com/thailand/

it was on the riverwalk
when you tried to tell me
you were sorry
with a new haircut and
your hat in your hand

let’s take a picture
you said
with one hand fishing
in your jacket pocket
and the other reaching for me
the way you reached for me
after practice for so many years

then you pulled out
a cheap disposable
and ran your thumb across it’s back
and waved me near
and as we stood with
your arm around my shoulder
that waitress
darlin’ did you say her name was?
captured your face
as content as can be
with me your son who is only now half a man

but it’s the face
that i never saw
in the picture
that i never let you send me
because i left.
and now, as i still walk away
down that river
i realize these things never end
they only pour into an ocean
that is bitter

“I am but one brick in that long, unbroken wall of female exploitation and misery.” - Mylee, a 24-year-old Thai prostitute from the city of Chiang Rai in Northern Thailand. [read full article]

twitch twitch
10,000 left
itch twitch
chomping. on. the. bit.
twitch, spring loaded
itch itch
muscles itch
dying dying
dead set to run
ready and
ready set go
pound pound retrieve the sun
pound hoof
pound blow
twitch twitch
remove the gate
hoof, blow I’m
ready set
set to race
resolute and gone
before the gun
twitch twitch
i’m going gone
blow hoof
twitch twitch and
i. am. gone.

aloud aloud aloud
then he skips
and the clouds
how they are his,
his friends and joy
and so very much
the now

aloud aloud aloud
skips and skips
oh how he skips
six years and six
ruined pairs of jeans
in a lemonade sun
this day has
all the room for joy
like his pockets
for rocks

aloud aloud aloud
skip skip my son, skip like
hell has no limit
and will come soon calling
for he will get hungry

soon
too soon

but you skip
and sing
for the day will come
when the memories
are all you’ll have
so aloud aloud aloud you sing
this day is yours
this now is yours

so tonight
is the night
that i gouge
out my eyes
because they see
the things i wish
they didn’t
and what good
are eyes when
all the best
parts of life
are the times
when we sleep
and dream
of things
that were
already seen?
so, yes it will
hurt like hell
like the time
that she left me
after he left me
when she left
me
but it’s the
dream right?
the heavenslice
of the night.
yes, that is
the only time
my eyes dry
and i don’t cry
and i think
i am happy

put in my mouth
the words that
need to be said,
to be mumbled
take hold of my
tongue, this tepid
fat tongue
and do not crush me
any longer
have mercy on me
have mercy on me
do not crush me
into the earth
like a bug
any longer

put laughter in
that place, i
want to feel
what a bellylaugh can do
and put love
in my heart
the love that
wrecks empires
i want to feel
what Love can do

a man, the one i
know i don’t know
just bellylaughed
down the hall and
it bounded and shook
behind closed doors
all around the office
until it knocked my
distilling concentration
from the shelf

how strange, i thought
trying to recollect
the pieces of the me
that i am making.
how strange that
sound felt
and i wondered.
all the same i wondered.

come come my friend
let us curl in the blanket
here in the still dark
in the back of the closet

and i will whisper
as lowly as will allow
that i miss you dearly
and am missing you now

my head is swollen
and a thought is too much
but let me rest with you silent
and let me dream and such

let me fall asleep
where they don’t know
let me pull into you
so i will learn to let go

i want to be here
though i don’t know how
but i’m saying that I’ll try
that’s enough for now